He was surprisingly terrible this season in a smaller ballpark with a pretty competent lineup around him. Then he broke.
Taken an average of 13th overall, owners are allowed to buy a bug zapper and take batting practice down at the local mosquito ridden pond.
He hit 12 HR in May of last season without ever drawing a walk. What did you expect?
3. The 2014 World Cup
I dozed in and out of the first game and holy crap I totally understand why the United States doesn’t care about this game. The only reason the U.S. doesn’t dominate soccer (don’t call it football, that term is reserved for a real sport) is because our best athletes are busy playing sports that aren’t totally boring. You think Dwight Howard might make a pretty decent goalie? Maybe Mike Trout in the midfield?
4. Joe Mauer
The decline is in full swing. Mauer’s still a decent player with a good OBP, but if he isn’t hitting above .300 he doesn’t belong in the top 100. Maybe teams should stop giving mega contracts to players. From Mauer to Albert Pujols Pujols to Robinson Cano to A-Rod to CC Sabathia to Prince Fielder to Matt Kemp to Justin Verlander to Carl Crawford, IT ISN’T A GOOD IDEA!
5. Foul Paul!
I have yet to make millions from this. Maybe Rob’s nephew can do better.
Feel free to leave hate in the comments section, it makes me feel like a WWE villain, which I very much enjoy.
6. Jean Segura
The 2013 post All-Star Break version is back. Yep, he had a .583 OPS in the second half last year.
7. Google +
Is it dead yet? Does anyone even know what a circle is?
Let me ask dumb questions into your search engine and maintain my junk email accounts. That’s your job, Google.
8. Matt Moore
What looked like such a promising career is now suddenly in question, but not just because of injury. His velocity was down and his control actually got worse. Two years ago I would have bet he’d be in the thick of the Cy Young conversation. Nobody is a sure thing in this game.
9. Billy Butler
Kansas City is all about doubles this season. Both Butler and Eric Hosmer have turned themselves into doubles machines, which is terrible news for pretty much everyone involved. But hey, if you decide to actually watch a Royals game and step foot in Kansas City you deserve to be punished anyway.
The Seattle Seahawks and the Royals are both LOB, all right. The Seahawks are the Legion of Boom and the Royals are Left on Base.
10. Jedd Gyorko
This can’t be a fluke, that park is just really tough to hit in. I don’t want any part of a Padres power hitter.
11. Shin-Soo Choo
The Rangers are cursed. Something spooky is going on here. I blame global warming.
12. Dr. James Andrews’ Timeshare
It doesn’t look like he’s going to get much time out of his office. The salesman will get you every time…
13. Allen Craig
It’s only going to get worse when he inevitably gets hurt. Matt Adams is better and will start stealing playing time when he comes back.
Be sure to read next weeks Foul Paul! or else I’ll follow you around the parking lot